The advice columnist's, hit all the Wikipedia talking points of black hair (Chris Rock's Good Hair, more representation is media, social implications, etc.) which boiled down to, you can compromise by flat ironing your hair or getting a straight wig. Now, I am not going to put all of the blame on this columnist. This was obviously subject matter outside her realm of expertise and at least she tried to give the lady some starting points to get the advice seeker's husband to accept or figure out why he doesn't like her natural hair. In my opinion, had the advice columnist asked at least three women of color with natural hairstyles, the focus of her response would have been what is truly fueling the husband's objection to his wife's natural hair. It was never determined what the ethnicity of her husband is which I feel makes the makes our newly natural sister's cry for help even more poignant. At this point it becomes much more than compromise it becomes something hateful no matter what ethnicity her husband is.
So here is my advice on advice, be careful who you pose your questions to. When your car starts making funny noises, you don't ask your doctor if he knows anything about transmissions. We in the natural haircare community have to reach out to each other. For too long we have let the subject of our hair become taboo. We need to have real dialogue about why we have these negative opinions about our hair and what we can do to unravel the myths and stereotypes. We also need to stop harassing each other for feeling one way or another. Education through condemnation and ridicule never works. This lady should have brought her questions to us because we are living her story. Many of us have faced the same ridicule and judgement that she faces. Many women haven't cared for their own natural hair since childhood. If we aren't there to answer their questions, someone less informed may do it for us.
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