I find it hard to believe that there is a segment of the black community that doesn't believe they are giving in to a Euro-centric standard of beauty when they get their hair relaxed. I began to wonder why this fact seemed so clear to me yet impossible to others. Is it how one is raised or how you're influenced by your peers and environment?
My maternal grandmother had a very light complexion and her hair wasn't as curly or wavy or a textured as my mother's or mine or my sister's; but it wasn't bone straight. I remember being a child and having some of my black friends telling me that my grandmother had 'good hair' and though no one in my family had used this term, I KNEW what they meant even at a young age. Most black people, at one time or another, have felt the sting negative comments directed at their hair. I had figured out that my hair in its natural state upset people. Paul Mooney was SO right; but it seemed that more black people were angry with my nappy hair. I wondered if they felt I was misrepresenting the community with 'unkept' hair; but most of the people that had a problem with me weren't thinking on that level. 'Good hair' in their minds meant hair like white people. Straight, manageable, long, flowing, beautiful, desireable. Though they weren't able to or unwilling to admit this, what other conculsion can one make? Why spend so much time, money and effort to make your hair the opposite of its natural state, damaging it in the process?
Through centuries we have been conditioned to believe the worst of what the ruling classes have told us about ourselves. Our truth and noble histories have been buried, distorted, twisted and made into myths and fantasies. As we continue to struggle to define ourselves we must confront long endured pain and resentment stereotypes and lies have inflicted upon the black community.
I don't want to come off as anti-relaxer; not relaxing my hair is my choice and I am happy with it. Just be honest with yourself. When you leave the beauty salon with straight hair, flipping it with every toss of your head, think of the people you know with truly straight hair. If that's what you like, go for it. Black people come in all shapes, sizes and color; we might as well be just as diverse in our hair. Remember, we didn't always have the freedom to make choices as to what we do with our bodies. Appreciate it.
