The Things We do To Ourselves and Each Other

Hi Everybody! I was doing a little research on stylists that may be adding relaxer to conditioners to be used on clients with natural hair requesting a blow-out and honestly the idea sickens me. This is dangerous beyond belief. I am not a chemist but I know that mixing chemicals without any knowledge of the exact compounds, mixtures or chemicals in either the relaxer or conditioner is a recipe for disaster. Just the relaxer alone, mixed properly by a professional, has the potenial to cause chemical burns. So why would a stylist risk losing devoted customers and their license by doing this? Did this phenomenon come about because stylists don't want to devote the time to working with natural hair or is this something more malicious? Have we abused our hair so much that this blatant and shocking abuse is just par for the course?

The black hair salon has been a staple in our community not only as an example of black owned business but a refuge for (mainly) women to come and be accepted. At the beauty salon, our hair was not deemed too difficult to manage or unsightly, it is simply your hair and you were never turned away (unless you didn't make an appointment and tried to walk-in on a Saturday). See, we were all facing the same struggle-to fit in with a broader social standard. Even though I hated getting my hair relaxed, I loved the atmosphere of the beauty salon. It was the place we could be ourselves and not worry about falling into any of the stereotypes black women suffer under all too often. It was a come as you are place full of laughter and gossip. So to think that a sylist would break this bond for the sake of a few minutes shaved off the time it takes to blow out a customer's hair is beyond me. If this is not a case of saving time, then is this some sort of backlash against the natural hair community? I should hope not; because the opportunity for a salon to broaden its business plan to include natural hair care should be seen as a positive. There is room for all of us in this journey; and it is a long, hard journey for us all. If sisters can't look out for each other, who is going to look out for us and have our best interest in mind?

Touch of Gray: Accepting Self

Salt & Pepper, snow on the mountain, sign of wisdom-it's all gray hair. I convinced myself that using these euphemisms would lessen the reality of life and aging; but let's face it-I've had my gray hair from the age of 17 and trust me when I say I had very little wisdom then. My mother and father went gray prematurely. Edna Mae, my mother, was known as "The Silver Fox" and Leslie, my father, delighted in getting a senior discount at the tender age of 40. I, however, did not share in their delight. I've had every hair color in the rainbow-attempts-five years to be exact. Once I did stop, everyone loved the gray hair but me. I had a chance to look at some pictures taken on a night out with friends and I could see myself the way everyone else was seeing me (maybe it was the margaritas). It wasn't that bad. Gray hair is just another shade of me. It may not guarantee wisdom, but it does say, "I've been here a minute, do you have any questions?"

The Long and Curly Road-Getting Through Your Transition

I would love to tell you that your transition from relaxed to natural hair will be easy. I'd live to tell you that you will never have to worry or think about your hair ever again; but I can't. You deserve to know the truth, so here is what I've experienced and felt during my transition.


Detangling: If you're not used to handling and caring for natural hair, getting started can be tough. Always work in sections. It is too easy to get overwhelmed trying to detangle or style a whole head of hair at once. I suggest you invest in several sets hair clips. I also learned that water is your friend. Curly/kinky hair should only be detangled when wet and with a wide-toothed comb. Start from the ends and work your way up. Some people use a Denman paddle brush to smooth out and detangle sections of hair, but if your hair is really curly/kinky I would stick with the wide-toothed comb. When you're detangling your hair, remember the weakest parts of your hair will be where the new natural growth meets up with the relaxed hair and where the curl bends. Not paying special attention to these area will result in damage and extra frizziness. Take your time when detangling and don't be afraid to spray some extra water on to help loosen up any tangles. If you do come across 'the mother of all tangles', you can try snipping it out with a pair of hair shears. Pulling and forcing the tangle will result in breakage.


Shampoo and Conditioner: One of the things I learned pretty quickly was that traditional shampoo was not going to work with my natural hair. As my transition went on, I noticed when I used traditional shampoo, it stripped my natural hair of all of its moisture leaving it dry, frizzy and especially hard to detangle. Traditional shampoos have harsh sulfates in them that tend to leave more pourous curly hair with less moisture than straight hair. This is when I started co-washing, using conditioner to detangle and add moisture to my hair then risning it out which left my hair soft, manageable and clean. When preparing to wash my hair, I usually section it off holding each section in place with a clip. Then going section by section I spray it down with water, detangle and add conditioner to the detangled section. Once all sections have conditioner on them, I let it stay in for an hour or two for deep conditioning. In the shower, I take down one section of at a time to rinse and detanlge it before putting it back into the clip. It sounds like a lot of work; but in the end, it makes the job of styling your hair much easier. Every three weeks or so, I do use a low detergent shampoo to get rid of any build up I have and this systems has worked well for me.

Semantics: Locks vs. Dreadlocks

If you are familiar with our blog or have been to Keepers of the Krown, you've probably noticed that we use the term locks instead of dreadlocks. Growing up, my mom always appreciated the beauty of locked hair but hated the term dreadlocks. To her, the term was too closely associated to the word dreadful. To my mom, this didn't seem like a word we, black people, would come up with to describe our own hair. However, the term dreadlocks has entered into our collective memory and is the term used most in conversation. So, we will be using both terms on the blog to make things clear to everyone (I can only imagine how many locksmiths I've bummed out by using the term locks).

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