It Don't Come Easy

"Is it easy to do your hair?" This is the question I get the most from people about my hair. This is a tricky question and I used to reply, "Define easy." The answer I usually got was, "Something I where I can just get up and go." That's when I realized that our perception (all people, not just black people) of what hair can and can't do is completely screwed up. The only people that can truly get up and go are probably bald people, and even still I would want to moisturize my scalp from time to time. All hair needs effort; some more than others.

As a black woman, I too have fell into this mindset of no effort hair. I had this illusion that if my hair were straight it would be so much easier to manage. While I was able to drag a comb through it from scalp to end, my daily routine was anything but get up and go. The combing, the brushing, the moisturizing, the curling or flat ironing, the finishing. Even washing and drying was an ordeal. All the while, my hair was in horrible condition despite all the masks, creams and conditioners I used.

Even when I started my transition to natural hair, I still wondered if it would easier. But soon I realized that the process of managing your hair is never truly easy. There will always be a level of maintenance that you will occur on a regular basis. Now when people ask me, "Is it easy to do your hair?" I respond, "If you have an hour every few days, yes."

This is how I maintain my go-to natural hairstyle, the twist out. Here are some of the tools and products you'll need:

1. Conditioner and or low-detergent shampoo of choice
2. Hair clips and no-snag hair elastics
3. A wide-tooth comb
4. A plastic spray bottle (misting not streaming)
5. A moisturizing product (shea butter products work well for me)
6. A sealing or styling products to reduce frizz and define curl pattern
7. A satin sleeping bonnet or satin pillow case

Sunday: This is officially hair day. If I have any errands to run, I try to get them out of the way by noon. I will co-wash (washing your hair with conditioner) or do a deep cleanse and a conditioning mask. Before washing, I part my hair into 4-6 sections and use butterfly clips to keep everything separated. In the shower, I thoroughly wet each section of hair, apply my cleansing conditioner (or if deep cleansing, low-detergent shampoo), rinse and re-clip. Once I've co-washed or cleansed, I apply my conditioner for the requisite 3-5 minutes (or per the instructions). **Now this is an important step** While the conditioner is in, I use my fingers or a wide-tooth comb to detangle each section. This step will prove invaluable. Once detangling is done, rinse in sections. At this point, you can replace the clips with no-snag hair elastics or leave the clips in, but I've found that it is easier to semi-dry your hair without the clips (yet leaving your hair in sections will be a tremendous help). There are many specialty drying products , an old t-shirt or section of old bed sheet will do with a towel layered over.

After washing my hair, I start to detangle, working in small sections (approximately 2 x 2 inches) with my wide tooth comb and re-wetting the section as needed with a spray bottle of filtered water. Remember to always start from the ends of the hair. If you hit a snag, work slowly and carefully, even use your fingers to work through it. NEVER pull the comb trough the snag or rip it apart. It will only cause damage to the hair. I continue working my way up to the scalp. Once the section is detangled, I work the shea butter into the section until well incorporated. Then after working in a small amount of my sealing or styling product, I begin the two strand twist, making sure to add a little extra shea butter to the ends. Continue in this manner until your twists are done. Once dry or the next morning, I undo all the twists, spritz with some water and go.

Monday: About an hour before bed, I carefully work a little more shea butter into my hair(focusing more on the ends), being careful to not separate the curls too much as this will increase frizz. I then separate my hair into two sections and make a high ponytail on the top of my head and one near the nape of my neck. I then place my satin sleeping bonnet and I'm done. I will usually do this two nights in a row although if careful, I can keep this up all week. It really depends on how you want your twist out to look and how busy you are. Mine results in a nice afro puff I pull arrange high on my head.

If you like the look of a fresh twist out, I recommend doing the styling portion of the Sunday routine every two days.

If you have and questions or thoughts, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

The Truth Can Be Hard to Swallow

I find it hard to believe that there is a segment of the black community that doesn't believe they are giving in to a Euro-centric standard of beauty when they get their hair relaxed. I began to wonder why this fact seemed so clear to me yet impossible to others. Is it how one is raised or how you're influenced by your peers and environment?

My maternal grandmother had a very light complexion and her hair wasn't as curly or wavy or a textured as my mother's or mine or my sister's; but it wasn't bone straight. I remember being a child and having some of my black friends telling me that my grandmother had 'good hair' and though no one in my family had used this term, I KNEW what they meant even at a young age. Most black people, at one time or another, have felt the sting negative comments directed at their hair. I had figured out that my hair in its natural state upset people. Paul Mooney was SO right; but it seemed that more black people were angry with my nappy hair. I wondered if they felt I was misrepresenting the community with 'unkept' hair; but most of the people that had a problem with me weren't thinking on that level. 'Good hair' in their minds meant hair like white people. Straight, manageable, long, flowing, beautiful, desireable. Though they weren't able to or unwilling to admit this, what other conculsion can one make? Why spend so much time, money and effort to make your hair the opposite of its natural state, damaging it in the process?

Through centuries we have been conditioned to believe the worst of what the ruling classes have told us about ourselves. Our truth and noble histories have been buried, distorted, twisted and made into myths and fantasies. As we continue to struggle to define ourselves we must confront long endured pain and resentment stereotypes and lies have inflicted upon the black community.

I don't want to come off as anti-relaxer; not relaxing my hair is my choice and I am happy with it. Just be honest with yourself. When you leave the beauty salon with straight hair, flipping it with every toss of your head, think of the people you know with truly straight hair. If that's what you like, go for it. Black people come in all shapes, sizes and color; we might as well be just as diverse in our hair. Remember, we didn't always have the freedom to make choices as to what we do with our bodies. Appreciate it.

All apologies

I am so very sorry that I haven't posted in such a long time. I want this space to be just about natural hair and with everything that has been going on politically, I have been distracted. I plan of focusing on the blog more and I look forward to sharing this journey with you all. Thank you for your patience.

The Things We do To Ourselves and Each Other

Hi Everybody! I was doing a little research on stylists that may be adding relaxer to conditioners to be used on clients with natural hair requesting a blow-out and honestly the idea sickens me. This is dangerous beyond belief. I am not a chemist but I know that mixing chemicals without any knowledge of the exact compounds, mixtures or chemicals in either the relaxer or conditioner is a recipe for disaster. Just the relaxer alone, mixed properly by a professional, has the potenial to cause chemical burns. So why would a stylist risk losing devoted customers and their license by doing this? Did this phenomenon come about because stylists don't want to devote the time to working with natural hair or is this something more malicious? Have we abused our hair so much that this blatant and shocking abuse is just par for the course?

The black hair salon has been a staple in our community not only as an example of black owned business but a refuge for (mainly) women to come and be accepted. At the beauty salon, our hair was not deemed too difficult to manage or unsightly, it is simply your hair and you were never turned away (unless you didn't make an appointment and tried to walk-in on a Saturday). See, we were all facing the same struggle-to fit in with a broader social standard. Even though I hated getting my hair relaxed, I loved the atmosphere of the beauty salon. It was the place we could be ourselves and not worry about falling into any of the stereotypes black women suffer under all too often. It was a come as you are place full of laughter and gossip. So to think that a sylist would break this bond for the sake of a few minutes shaved off the time it takes to blow out a customer's hair is beyond me. If this is not a case of saving time, then is this some sort of backlash against the natural hair community? I should hope not; because the opportunity for a salon to broaden its business plan to include natural hair care should be seen as a positive. There is room for all of us in this journey; and it is a long, hard journey for us all. If sisters can't look out for each other, who is going to look out for us and have our best interest in mind?