Everybody's Doing It

Yesterday I ran to Sally's Beauty Supply to pick up some supplies (butterfly clips, bobby pins and such). When it was time to check out, the two ladies behind the counter were looking at my hair. The first girl, who looked to be Latina, asked if my hair was natural and I told her yes. She looked to her co-worker and said, "See? Everyone is going natural!" She then turned to me and said, "I see so many black women coming in with natural hair. We hardly sell any hair or relaxers at this store anymore." I must admit at hearing this I did an internal happy dance. Not because I see this as a natural vs. straightened, but because this is about accepting our whole selves. For me, I couldn't say I loved everything about myself if I couldn't let my hair be seen the way it grew out of my head. As the Latina woman looked at my hair she complimented me by saying it looked so healthy and strong. She then said, "Oh, I be it would be so long if you straightened it." I replied to her, "If I straightened it, it would just damage my hair and and break off. I much prefer it to be healthy." She agreed and and we finished our transaction.

As I drove home, I kept thinking of how many times I've heard other curly girls mention the how many times they've heard the phrase, "your hair would be so long/pretty/nice if you straightened it." When I hear this, all I have to think about is how much shed hair was left on the bathroom floor when I relaxed my hair. All I have to to is think about how stiff and motionless my hair was when I relaxed it. All I have to do is feel how soft and healthy my hair is now to know I've made the right decision to go natural.

Now this isn't to say, at least for some people, that they would like to measure their growth or feel the weight of the length of their hair. Below are some options you may want to experiment with.

• Locks: This hairstyle is one that will take a commitment, but it will probably be the easiest, least labor intensive way to to measure length over time. Plus, it will decrease the possibility of damage from styling.
• Mini twists: This hairstyle will last about a month if properly maintained and doesn't require the commitment of locks.
• Flat twists: Similar to cornrows, by twisting along the contours of you head, you naturally elongate the curl pattern.
• Wrapping Twists: If you normally wear your hair in a twist out, try wrapping your twists at night (like wrapping relaxed hair). Instead of using the paper used in salons, use a silk or satin scarf and loosely bobby pin your twists to you head.

The Things We do To Ourselves and Each Other

Hi Everybody! I was doing a little research on stylists that may be adding relaxer to conditioners to be used on clients with natural hair requesting a blow-out and honestly the idea sickens me. This is dangerous beyond belief. I am not a chemist but I know that mixing chemicals without any knowledge of the exact compounds, mixtures or chemicals in either the relaxer or conditioner is a recipe for disaster. Just the relaxer alone, mixed properly by a professional, has the potenial to cause chemical burns. So why would a stylist risk losing devoted customers and their license by doing this? Did this phenomenon come about because stylists don't want to devote the time to working with natural hair or is this something more malicious? Have we abused our hair so much that this blatant and shocking abuse is just par for the course?

The black hair salon has been a staple in our community not only as an example of black owned business but a refuge for (mainly) women to come and be accepted. At the beauty salon, our hair was not deemed too difficult to manage or unsightly, it is simply your hair and you were never turned away (unless you didn't make an appointment and tried to walk-in on a Saturday). See, we were all facing the same struggle-to fit in with a broader social standard. Even though I hated getting my hair relaxed, I loved the atmosphere of the beauty salon. It was the place we could be ourselves and not worry about falling into any of the stereotypes black women suffer under all too often. It was a come as you are place full of laughter and gossip. So to think that a sylist would break this bond for the sake of a few minutes shaved off the time it takes to blow out a customer's hair is beyond me. If this is not a case of saving time, then is this some sort of backlash against the natural hair community? I should hope not; because the opportunity for a salon to broaden its business plan to include natural hair care should be seen as a positive. There is room for all of us in this journey; and it is a long, hard journey for us all. If sisters can't look out for each other, who is going to look out for us and have our best interest in mind?

Overcoming Stigma

We are all familiar with the stares and queries about our natural hair. Even when I relaxed my hair, the time period between touch-ups would invite comments about my needing to hurry and get my hair fixed. Fixed. Really? I guess I am thankful that I was never comfortable with relaxing my hair, so when I went natural and starting to see my real hair I instantly fell in love.

Other men and women aren't so lucky. They are surrounded by people so removed from their true selves that any deviation from a perceived 'norm' is cause for shame and belittling.

We must keep reminding each other that there is nothing wrong with being ourselves. We must remind each other that what we are being told is normal is not our normal. We must remember what damage we inflict on our hair and scalp when we give into a Euro-centric beauty standard.

So next time you're out and about and see a sister or brother rocking natural style, give them a complement. If a friend comes to you asking about transitioning to natural, give them your support and guidance. If you find that you're close to going back to relaxed hair, remember these thoughts. Why did I want to go natural? What do I dislike about relaxing my hair? Think of the money all the money you've paid out only to get damaged, broken, unhealthy hair.