Everybody's Doing It

Yesterday I ran to Sally's Beauty Supply to pick up some supplies (butterfly clips, bobby pins and such). When it was time to check out, the two ladies behind the counter were looking at my hair. The first girl, who looked to be Latina, asked if my hair was natural and I told her yes. She looked to her co-worker and said, "See? Everyone is going natural!" She then turned to me and said, "I see so many black women coming in with natural hair. We hardly sell any hair or relaxers at this store anymore." I must admit at hearing this I did an internal happy dance. Not because I see this as a natural vs. straightened, but because this is about accepting our whole selves. For me, I couldn't say I loved everything about myself if I couldn't let my hair be seen the way it grew out of my head. As the Latina woman looked at my hair she complimented me by saying it looked so healthy and strong. She then said, "Oh, I be it would be so long if you straightened it." I replied to her, "If I straightened it, it would just damage my hair and and break off. I much prefer it to be healthy." She agreed and and we finished our transaction.

As I drove home, I kept thinking of how many times I've heard other curly girls mention the how many times they've heard the phrase, "your hair would be so long/pretty/nice if you straightened it." When I hear this, all I have to think about is how much shed hair was left on the bathroom floor when I relaxed my hair. All I have to to is think about how stiff and motionless my hair was when I relaxed it. All I have to do is feel how soft and healthy my hair is now to know I've made the right decision to go natural.

Now this isn't to say, at least for some people, that they would like to measure their growth or feel the weight of the length of their hair. Below are some options you may want to experiment with.

• Locks: This hairstyle is one that will take a commitment, but it will probably be the easiest, least labor intensive way to to measure length over time. Plus, it will decrease the possibility of damage from styling.
• Mini twists: This hairstyle will last about a month if properly maintained and doesn't require the commitment of locks.
• Flat twists: Similar to cornrows, by twisting along the contours of you head, you naturally elongate the curl pattern.
• Wrapping Twists: If you normally wear your hair in a twist out, try wrapping your twists at night (like wrapping relaxed hair). Instead of using the paper used in salons, use a silk or satin scarf and loosely bobby pin your twists to you head.

It Don't Come Easy

"Is it easy to do your hair?" This is the question I get the most from people about my hair. This is a tricky question and I used to reply, "Define easy." The answer I usually got was, "Something I where I can just get up and go." That's when I realized that our perception (all people, not just black people) of what hair can and can't do is completely screwed up. The only people that can truly get up and go are probably bald people, and even still I would want to moisturize my scalp from time to time. All hair needs effort; some more than others.

As a black woman, I too have fell into this mindset of no effort hair. I had this illusion that if my hair were straight it would be so much easier to manage. While I was able to drag a comb through it from scalp to end, my daily routine was anything but get up and go. The combing, the brushing, the moisturizing, the curling or flat ironing, the finishing. Even washing and drying was an ordeal. All the while, my hair was in horrible condition despite all the masks, creams and conditioners I used.

Even when I started my transition to natural hair, I still wondered if it would easier. But soon I realized that the process of managing your hair is never truly easy. There will always be a level of maintenance that you will occur on a regular basis. Now when people ask me, "Is it easy to do your hair?" I respond, "If you have an hour every few days, yes."

This is how I maintain my go-to natural hairstyle, the twist out. Here are some of the tools and products you'll need:

1. Conditioner and or low-detergent shampoo of choice
2. Hair clips and no-snag hair elastics
3. A wide-tooth comb
4. A plastic spray bottle (misting not streaming)
5. A moisturizing product (shea butter products work well for me)
6. A sealing or styling products to reduce frizz and define curl pattern
7. A satin sleeping bonnet or satin pillow case

Sunday: This is officially hair day. If I have any errands to run, I try to get them out of the way by noon. I will co-wash (washing your hair with conditioner) or do a deep cleanse and a conditioning mask. Before washing, I part my hair into 4-6 sections and use butterfly clips to keep everything separated. In the shower, I thoroughly wet each section of hair, apply my cleansing conditioner (or if deep cleansing, low-detergent shampoo), rinse and re-clip. Once I've co-washed or cleansed, I apply my conditioner for the requisite 3-5 minutes (or per the instructions). **Now this is an important step** While the conditioner is in, I use my fingers or a wide-tooth comb to detangle each section. This step will prove invaluable. Once detangling is done, rinse in sections. At this point, you can replace the clips with no-snag hair elastics or leave the clips in, but I've found that it is easier to semi-dry your hair without the clips (yet leaving your hair in sections will be a tremendous help). There are many specialty drying products , an old t-shirt or section of old bed sheet will do with a towel layered over.

After washing my hair, I start to detangle, working in small sections (approximately 2 x 2 inches) with my wide tooth comb and re-wetting the section as needed with a spray bottle of filtered water. Remember to always start from the ends of the hair. If you hit a snag, work slowly and carefully, even use your fingers to work through it. NEVER pull the comb trough the snag or rip it apart. It will only cause damage to the hair. I continue working my way up to the scalp. Once the section is detangled, I work the shea butter into the section until well incorporated. Then after working in a small amount of my sealing or styling product, I begin the two strand twist, making sure to add a little extra shea butter to the ends. Continue in this manner until your twists are done. Once dry or the next morning, I undo all the twists, spritz with some water and go.

Monday: About an hour before bed, I carefully work a little more shea butter into my hair(focusing more on the ends), being careful to not separate the curls too much as this will increase frizz. I then separate my hair into two sections and make a high ponytail on the top of my head and one near the nape of my neck. I then place my satin sleeping bonnet and I'm done. I will usually do this two nights in a row although if careful, I can keep this up all week. It really depends on how you want your twist out to look and how busy you are. Mine results in a nice afro puff I pull arrange high on my head.

If you like the look of a fresh twist out, I recommend doing the styling portion of the Sunday routine every two days.

If you have and questions or thoughts, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

The Truth Can Be Hard to Swallow

I find it hard to believe that there is a segment of the black community that doesn't believe they are giving in to a Euro-centric standard of beauty when they get their hair relaxed. I began to wonder why this fact seemed so clear to me yet impossible to others. Is it how one is raised or how you're influenced by your peers and environment?

My maternal grandmother had a very light complexion and her hair wasn't as curly or wavy or a textured as my mother's or mine or my sister's; but it wasn't bone straight. I remember being a child and having some of my black friends telling me that my grandmother had 'good hair' and though no one in my family had used this term, I KNEW what they meant even at a young age. Most black people, at one time or another, have felt the sting negative comments directed at their hair. I had figured out that my hair in its natural state upset people. Paul Mooney was SO right; but it seemed that more black people were angry with my nappy hair. I wondered if they felt I was misrepresenting the community with 'unkept' hair; but most of the people that had a problem with me weren't thinking on that level. 'Good hair' in their minds meant hair like white people. Straight, manageable, long, flowing, beautiful, desireable. Though they weren't able to or unwilling to admit this, what other conculsion can one make? Why spend so much time, money and effort to make your hair the opposite of its natural state, damaging it in the process?

Through centuries we have been conditioned to believe the worst of what the ruling classes have told us about ourselves. Our truth and noble histories have been buried, distorted, twisted and made into myths and fantasies. As we continue to struggle to define ourselves we must confront long endured pain and resentment stereotypes and lies have inflicted upon the black community.

I don't want to come off as anti-relaxer; not relaxing my hair is my choice and I am happy with it. Just be honest with yourself. When you leave the beauty salon with straight hair, flipping it with every toss of your head, think of the people you know with truly straight hair. If that's what you like, go for it. Black people come in all shapes, sizes and color; we might as well be just as diverse in our hair. Remember, we didn't always have the freedom to make choices as to what we do with our bodies. Appreciate it.

All apologies

I am so very sorry that I haven't posted in such a long time. I want this space to be just about natural hair and with everything that has been going on politically, I have been distracted. I plan of focusing on the blog more and I look forward to sharing this journey with you all. Thank you for your patience.